There's Life Outside Your Apartment Testo

Brian:
Princeton!
Princeton:
Yeah.
Brian:
Listen, buddy, nobody❝s seen ya for two weeks.
What❝s up with that?
Princeton:
I went to work for a temp agency, and they
fired me for being too depressing on the phone.
I maxed out my cards, I❝m two months behind
in rent, I totally messed up my personal life.
Oh, and Brian - I still haven❝t found my purpose!
Brian:
All right. Get off your ass and stop worrying!
Everyone❝s getting together to mess around the city today.
Princeton:
Have fun!
Brian:
When I say everyone, that includes you!
There is life outside your apartment.
I know it❝s hard to conceive.
But there❝s life outside your apartment.
And you❝re only gonna see it if you leave.
There is cool shit to do,
But it can❝t come to you,
And who knows, dude
You might even score!
There is life outside your apartment.
But you gotta open the door!
Princeton:
No, thanks, I❝m staying in!
Brian:
Don❝t tell me I gotta force you.
Princeton:
Sorry!
Brian:
All right, everyone! He❝s resisting!
All but Princeton:
There is life outside...
There is life outside...
There is life outside...
There is life outside your apartment!
There❝s a pigeon
Squashed on the street.
Christmas Eve:
Ew.
Brian:
There❝s a girl passing by
Nicky:
No I think it❝s a guy
All but Princeton:
And a homeless man
Who only wants to
Buy something to eat!
Sorry, can❝t help you.
We could go to the zoo!
Trekkie Monster:
Pick up girls at NYU!
Brian:
We could sit in the park smoking pot!
Christmas Eve:
Or not.
All but Princeton:
There is life outside your apartment.
Princeton:
Well, I guess I❝ll give it a shot.
All:
There is life outside your apartment.
I know -
There is life outside your apartment.
Voice #1:
I❝m gonna jump!
All:
Don❝t do it!
Voice #1:
Okay.
All:
There is cool shit to do
But it can❝t come to you
So come on -
Voice #2:
Get out of the way asshole!
Princeton:
Fuck you!
All:
There is life outside your apartment.
Oh, you never know
What❝s around the bend.
You could win the lotto
Or make a friend...
Guys:
Take her home to see your apartment!
Lucy:
Do you wanna feel special?
I can see that you do.
Well, I can make you feel
Special.
If you let me feel you.
Guys:
She❝ll feel you!
Lucy:
Where❝s your pad?
Princeton:
Not too far.
Guys:
We could call you a car.
Princeton:
We❝ll be fine, thank you! See ya!
Christmas Eve:
Hope you don❝t get gonorrhea!
All:
There is life outside your apartment.
Princeton/Lucy:
But now it❝s time to go home.
All:
There is life outside your apartment.
Trekkie Monster:
Me going home now.
Princeton/Lucy:
It❝s time to go home!
Trekkie Monster:
That❝s where me gonna go!
Lucy:
I can make you feel special
Trekkie Monster:
That❝s where me gonna go!
All:
There is life outside your apartment.
Trekkie Monster:
Me going home now,
That❝s where me gonna go!
Princeton/Lucy:
But now it❝s time to go home
Trekkie Monster:
For porn!