Theme From 'family Guy' Testo

Louis: It seems today, that all you see is violence in movies, and sex on T.V.
Peter: But where are those good old-fashioned values, on which we used to rely?
Brian: It used to be, a big time star was elegant as Garbo, or Hedy Lamarr.
Stewie: But now we get whores like Jenny Lopez, you want to curl up and die.
Chorus: Lucky there❝s a Family Guy. Lucky there❝s a man who positively can do all the things that make us-
Stewie: Laugh and cry!
Chorus: He❝s a Family Guy!
Louis: When I was young, the songs were fair, with Mister Johnny Mathis, and Sonny and Cher.
Peter: But now we get Justin Timber-homo.
Louis: A heartache all gone awry!
Brian: The classic films were works of arts, the images were graceful, the stories were smart.
Stewie: But now we get Matrix Revolution, I❝m sorry I know this doesn❝t rhyme, but what the hell were you Wachowski Brothers thinking?!
Chorus: Lucky there❝s a family guy, lucky there❝s a fella, sweeter than vanilla, wholesome as a piece of-
Stewie: Apple Pie!
Chorus: He❝s a family guy!
Lois: His smile❝s a simple delight.
Chris: He lets me see the boobies on the internet sites.
Lois: Peter!
Meg: He bought me my cute little hat.
Brian: Yeah we should have a talk about that.
Chorus: About that! And his hat!
Brian: He❝s mastered the comedy arts.
Stewie: He says, ❝Look out, Hiroshima!❝ then casually farts. (fart sound effect)
Lois: He❝s loaded with sexy appeal.
Peter: And best of all my titties are real. Have a feel!
Brian: No thank you.
Stewie: I gave it the office.
Lois: The Brady Bunch has got their Mike and pretty Laura Petrie has Dicky Van Dyke. But who around here could fill those loafers?
Chorus: But here❝s a happy reply. Lucky there❝s a family guy. Lucky there❝s a man who positively can do all the thing that make us-
Stewie: Laugh and Cry!
Chorus: He❝s a Family Guy! He❝s a Family Guy!!!
Lois: Oh My! Thank you very much! What a welcome.
Peter: I am gunna buy each and every one of you a beer after the show. Whoa, whoa, whoa! I❝m kidding for Christ❝s sake, I❝m not serious. That❝s expensive! Look, just the fact that I came up with the idea should tell you I❝m generous; I shouldn❝t actually have to spend any money.
Meg: Uh, can we turn the spotlight down a bit?
Brian: Yeah, it is a little bright.
Stewie: You know Brian, I- I just noticed something. With that light shining on you from that angle, you look a lot like Jamie Farr.
Brian: Yeah, you❝ve told me that before and uh, it❝s interesting, because I❝m thinking you look a lot like Britney Spears.
Stewie: Really?! How so?
Brian: Well, you- you got that thing going on with your eyes like Britney does. You know where❦
You know how her eyes are just like a hair too far apart? Uh, a- a- almost like there was some immediate post-birth surgery that should have been done but it was the south, so they didn❝t have the medical technology.
Stewie: Oh, I see.
Chris: Mom!
Lois: Yes honey?
Chris: I have a wedgie.
Lois: Chris, honey, wait until the intermission. Then you can fix it.
Peter: Well, we got a lot of fun stuff lined up here tonight. We got music, we got comedy, we got behind the scenes crap from the show.
Lois: That❝s right! For example, not a lot of people know this, but in one episode of the show there was a flashback of Brian when he was a puppy. Now, they couldn❝t find a puppy who looked enough like him, so they actually built a dog suit for the scene, and the actor of inside the suit was Raven-Symoné, who was Olivia on the Cosby show.
Brian: Fascinating bit of trivia.
Peter: All right, okay, I got one for ya. You know the sound stage where we shoot Family Guy is the same stage where they shot the Golden Girls back in the 80❝s, right? Now one of the stage hands was telling me a- a pretty intense story. I guess there was one night when they were all ready to shoot, and uh, the audience was waiting. And uh, nobody could find Bea Arthur. So everybody❝s freaking out and uh, then one of the producers runs in and says ❝Cancel the show tonight. Bea Arthur❝s in jail!
Lois: Oh My God!
Peter: Yeah. Apparently she had a little too much to drink before the show and uh, they found her standing on the street corner, exposing her penis to traffic.
Brian: Oh My God!
Meg: Ew! That❝s Disgusting!
Peter: Can you believe that?
Brian: Wait a minute. How the hell can Bea Arthur have a penis?
Peter: Eh, special permit.
Stewie: I say, what is it with these actors? They❝re perfectly normal people in civilian life and then they come out to Hollywood and just go fucking berserk.
Brian: You gotta watch your language, kid.
Stewie: Oh, it❝s a record album for God❝s sake. Let❝s cut loose a bit.
Chris: Nipples! Hehe.
Stewie: Perfect example. Although I must say I am amazed at the language you can get away with on television these days. I- I was watching Law and Order the other night and I swear to god, I heard someone use the word ❝balls❝. And I thought to myself, ❝My God, that- that Dick Wolf just does whatever he damn well pleases, doesn❝t he? Bringing words like ❝balls❝ into America❝s living rooms. I wonder how he❝d like it if I just walked into his living room a- and use the word ❝balls❝.
Brian: Uh❦ I think that would be breaking and entering.
Lois: You know, I am so glad they allowed us to bring Stewie this evening. The last show we did we had to leave him at home. They didn❝t allow babies in the theater.
Brian: Well of course. People wanted to be able to enjoy the show
Stewie: I am a show you lack-witted beetle head! Ugh! Oh what a night that was. My babysitter was a total bitch.
Lois: Stewie! That❝s very rude. Especially since your babysitter is here tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, Ms. Hailey Duff.
Hailey Duff: Hi Mr. and Mrs. Griffin
Peter: How❝re ya, sweetheart?
Lois: So was it really that bad babysitting Stewie?
Hailey Duff: You want the truth? Well, okay. So after you and Peter left for dinner, I- No. Wait a minute. Let❝s tell this story right. Chorus please.