If I Could Train An Army Of Monkeys Testo

VERSE ONE
I❝m not good with girls but you❝re really very hot,
Like a guy in Saudi Arabia that wears scarves a lot.
The end justifies the means and I wanted you bad,
Its sad I go mad I want you scantily clad.
I knead you girl just like a baker kneads bread,
Except without the k and a double e instead.
I want you to be synonymous with being in my bed,
Like that birthmark was with Gorbachev❝s head.
Where before I was blind, baby you gave me sight,
I feel sorry for chairs with a bum that tight.
The jet stole home I❝m gonna steal your heart,
Like the albino monk in Da Vinci code stole some art.
When they steal your heart my monkeys will treat you as a queen,
We could incorporate them later and make it obscene.
Look at them fly, rudimentary use of tools,
Using type writers flouting grammatical rules.
CHORUS
If I could train an army of monkeys I❝d train them to steal your heart.
If I could train an army of monkeys I❝d train them to steal your heart.
Thanks for the monkeys, they've gone and stole my heart,
They've wrapped me so tight in your love that we can never part.
Boy, I'm wanting you so bad - I can hardly breathe!
'Coz everyday I'm just so glad your monkeys came to me.
VERSE TWO
You❝re so sexy girl your body❝s so smooth,
Except when you forget to wax for a month or two.
But I❝m not complaining you❝re not as hairy as me,
I should rename myself digit and reside in a tree.
My feelings towards you girl goddamit they❝re sexual,
When I❝m left without you I feel ineffectual.
You❝re from another planet like an extraterrestrial,
If we were cousins I❝d be happily incestual.
I love her more than Brian Loves Delta.
I love her more than Brian Loves Delta.
Are you like Jake the Muss, I❝d never belt her,
I love her more than Brian Loves Delta.
Our love has sugar in it could never sour,
And when we make sweet love baby it goes for hours.
By hours though I mean about 15 seconds,
But it❝s the best quarter of a minute of the week I reckon.
CHORUS
If I could train an army of monkeys I❝d train them to steal your heart.
If I could train an army of monkeys I❝d train them to steal your heart.
Thanks for the monkeys, they've gone and stole my heart,
They've wrapped me so tight in your love that we can never part.
Boy, I'm wanting you so bad - I can hardly breathe!
'Coz everyday I'm just so glad your monkeys came to me.
VERSE THREE
I never, ever, ever, ever, ever want to leave ya,
Like I never ever want to have sex with Petro Civenoceva.
You are so far up my alley you're on the next street,
And unlike Kirsty Alley you know when to not eat.
I love her more than Bec loves Lleyton.
I love her more than Bec loves Lleyton.
I love her more than Pope Benedict XVI
Loves the withdrawal method of contraception.
Stop it, drop it, lets get groovy,
I want the feeling I get from Olsen-twin's movie,
Move me girl, or just sooth me,
I'll work your mouse trap like Geoff Toovey.
Don't soothe me, excite me, ignite me and delight me,
Like Dawn Fraser in her day I'm surprisingly spritely.
You❝re so tight tonight it could get unsightly,
But if you touch my Monaro you're going to have to fight me.
CHORUS
If I could train an army of monkeys I❝d train them to steal your heart.
If I could train an army of monkeys I❝d train them to steal your heart.
Thanks for the monkeys, they've gone and stole my heart,
They've wrapped me so tight in your love that we can never part.
Boy, I'm wanting you so bad - I can hardly breathe!
'Coz everyday I'm just so glad your monkeys came to me.
VERSE FOUR
I don❝t want to be creepy like Christopher Walkin,
But when I see you walk past I can❝t stop stalking.
When we❝re alone together girl there❝s no time for talking,
I wanna get my kit off like Jennifer Hawkins.
Why don❝t you call me? I love you so much that my fingers don❝t work,
Don❝t try and fool me! Never, I❝m like an ewok and you❝re like captain Kirk.
They❝re different movies! Shut up, why you always going beserk,
But I want to cheer you up so I bought tickets to Cirque -
Du Sole!
Don❝t wanna be like 1200 techniques who all the time,
Use the name of random countries to make their shit rhyme.
But when I see your face baby I go week at the knees,
Like the weakness of democracy in modern Belize.
CHORUS
If I could train an army of monkeys I❝d train them to steal your heart.
If I could train an army of monkeys I❝d train them to steal your heart.
Thanks for the monkeys, they've gone and stole my heart,
They've wrapped me so tight in your love that we can never part.
Boy, I'm wanting you so bad - I can hardly breathe!
'Coz everyday I'm just so glad your monkeys came to me.