dam Hussein and P. Xain
intro - you gonna, you gonna fukin order the curry then or what?
yeah, alright..pass me the phone clart.
y'wa...hang on mate..
whass, wha...aw, say whats the fukin number, son
yew aah, switch yer fukin phone on...c'mon..fukin, i'm staarvin'
er, allo, allo..yeah, i i i'd like to order a f.. uh...a curry please, yeah
er, chicken tikka massala, er, 4....4 pila...pilau rice's
(background - can i ave a naan bread)
aw fukin 'ell..we gotta, fukin.. naan bread as well...
uh, f.. keema nan..3...3 onion bhajis..er, fukin..an an some pepsi
yeah, yeah spa..is ..its a takeaway.
All rapping by Adam Hussein - Chorus sung by Eggsy
Back in the 'Port, stackin up yer bong
Havin a f*ckin laugh and still signing on
I went to pick up a curry and they saw my Capri
I payed them in draw and the keema naan was free
The korma was wicked and it only cost a fiver
And they asked me to become the new delivery driver
The orders added up, two by fukin two
I can sell draw when im delivering vindaloos
When you're driving in town late at night
F*ck me clarts you see some sights
Wrecking it up in my Capri
Delivering a chicken bhuna going into Maindee
Now you see me knocking out making a cut
I'll give you free madras if you keeps yer mouth shut
I'll bring you a curry and sell you the blow
I'll put hash mix in yer bombay potatoes
chorus - chicken tikka massala chips and rice
chicken tikka massala chips and rice
chicken tikka massala chips and rice
chicken tikka massala chips and rice
I delivered the mushroom biriani to this babysitter
She invited me in and I f*cked her up the shitter
I took a lamb madras and a quarter to Brynglas
My bitch got three ounces stuffed in her ass
She sucked me off and spat in the mint sauce
You don't wanna know what she put in the main course
Chicken tikka massala delivered to 56
Cause the people there are pricks
Cause they never f*ckin tips
I delivers the curry right down in Pill
This bird 'ad no money so she gave me a f*ckin thrill
I closed my eyes and made a wish
I chucked my man milk up her f*ckin starfish
I had 10 pints and smoked some crack
Now i gotta deliver a prawn dhansak
I got to the house, i was sick on the doorstep
But i made them pay cash cause i won't take a cheque
chorus - chicken tikka massala chips and rice
chicken tikka massala chips and rice
chicken tikka massala chips and rice
chicken tikka massala chips and rice
Herbs and spices, deliver pills on ice
I never get c-caught like in miami vice
I get 'em really dodgy on the streets of the city
Deliverin' more draw than curry...which ain't a pity
But when the filth pull me over on the hard shoulder
I gives them LSD curry and a strawberry pavlova
And i pays them off with all this cash that i rake in
The girlies love me so i'm always flicking bacon
All this mad funk, never f*ckin quits
Ever seen someone get f*cked with a pneumatic drill in kwik-fit?
I doubt it clart, now gimme the f*ckin money
This is some of the shit i sees delivering curry
chorus - chicken tikka massala chips and rice
chicken tikka massala chips and rice
chicken tikka massala chips and rice
went down private-eyes and bought a special device
It wasn't very long before i got an order wrong
And my special bombay spuds turned this bloke into a mong
He started complaining when he woke up
Cause it was three weeks later and he missed the World Cup
He got f*cked off, i must've really bought his piss
Cause I got fired next time i went into the office
They found my capri with the draw they had to seize
F*ck this splew i'm off to work down the chinese
