Losing Control Testo

There's so much I don't know
And I seem to get it somehow
Why am I so selfish
Why do I bring hell upon those that I love and hate
It seems I can't do anything right
I used to know everything
Then I entered the real world
Into a new reality
There's so much I don't know
But I seem to get it somehow
Teenage stupidity
Selfish realities
Irresponsible decisions
I shouldn't have done it back then
He took advantage of me like his father
Dammit I'm stupid
Damn I'm dumb
He's made me numb
Where am I
Where's me
Where can I find wisdom
A real reality
Responsible decisions
Where can I find it
There's so much I don't know
But I seem to get it somehow
I should've been more smarter then that
I should've had better strength
I should've been more selfless
Why couldn't I be perfect
I really did screw everything up
There's so much I don't know
And I seem to get everything somehow
I still love him
But I'm having doubts
God shine your light on me please
Oh oh oh OH! Please help me I'm so lost
So alone
So afraid
So weak
So sad
So selfish
So irresponsible
So stupid
So dumb
So low on reality
There's so many things I don't know
Yet I understand somehow
Help me Lord