Ren: 'Steempy! What's all that racket about?'
Stimpy: 'I'm tap-dancing, Ren! Pretty good, huh?'
Ren: 'Eet just sounds like noise to me! And you look even more stupeed than usual!'
Stimpy: 'Oh, pshaw! Tap-dancing is fun, Ren! Why don't you join me?'
Ren: 'Oh no, I'm no eediot.'
Stimpy: 'Oh c'mon! No one will ever see you.'
Ren: 'No way!'
Stimpy: 'Just put these shoes on, and move your feet...'
Ren: 'BACK OFF, MAN!! I can do it...'
Stimpy: 'Now, don't you feel better?'
Ren: 'Heeeey, thees eez fun! You're right, Stimpy. I'm sorry I'm all the time so mean to you.'
Stimpy: 'Think nothin' of it, buddy! Pal!
It's really great to have a chum
Who's kind and caring and lots of fun.
He slaps me around when I feel blue;
Only a pal would do that for you.
His name is Ren
And when it comes to a friend,
No one is better.
Your turn, pal!'
Ren: Ah, okay, bud--AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! You eediot! If you're going to tap-dance, do it on your own two feet!'
Stimpy: 'Whoops.'
Ren: 'He's really fat, [Stimpy burps] but I admit,'
Stimpy: (What's that, Ren?)
Ren: 'He's not so dumb...'
Stimpy: (Joy!)
Ren: '...For an eediot!
I hate the smell of his stinky leeter box
And when he fills me to my stay-put socks.
He's lost his mind
But when I'm een a bind,
He's better than no one.
Would you wanna comb my hair?'
Stimpy: 'With glee!'
Ren: 'Would you shave my tongue?'
Stimpy: 'For free!'
Ren: 'Would you flense my spleen?'
Stimpy: 'Whoopee!'
Both: 'You're the friend for me!'
Ren: 'My friend to the end,'
Stimpy: (That's me! That's me!)
Ren: 'Which I hope is soon,'
Stimpy: (He hopes is soon!)
Ren: 'Has a head full of air'
Stimpy: (A head full of air?)
Ren: 'Like a red balloon!'
Stimpy: 'A balloon-head? Wow! What a great thing to be!
You always say the nicest things to me!'
Ren: 'You're a fool!'
Stimpy: 'But I think you're cool!
No one is better.
Would you tell me a story?'
Ren: 'No way!'
Stimpy: 'Would you pick my nose?'
Ren: 'For pay...'
Stimpy: 'Would you scratch my back?'
Ren: 'No!'
Stimpy: 'Pluck my brows?'
Ren: 'No!!'
Stimpy: 'Clean my box?'
Ren: [screams]
Stimpy: 'Lick my fur?'
Ren: 'All right, Stimpy! THAT'S EET! I've had enough of your stUUUUpid questions! The answer is NO! No, I tell you! A thousand times, NOOOO!!!!'
Stimpy: 'Oh, just asking!'
Ren: 'We're opposites by nature.'
Stimpy: 'He's a dog, and I-I'm a cat! I think.'
Ren: 'But put us both together...'
Stimpy: 'And we're a purr-fect match!'
Ren: 'Shut up!'
Stimpy: 'Yes, sir! I'm glad he's here to tell me what to do!'
Ren: 'Aw, somebody's got to think for you.
You may be a dud,
But when I need a bud,
You're better than no one.'
Stimpy: 'No one is better!'
Ren: 'You're better than...'
Stimpy: 'No one is...'
Ren: 'Better than...'
Stimpy: 'No one...'
Both: 'No one... is better.'
