Don't Get No Testo

Seems I've spent most of mine on long drunken drives, makin' up excuses for an angry wife.

Now I'm cruisin' down I-75, throwin' my empties at the wrong way signs.
I'm so wasted I can't see shit. And it don't get no better than this.

Now what in the hell am I doing in this cell? Did I get drunk and start a fight?
One thing's fer certain, the way my head is hurtin', feels like I hit a bus last night
Then it all came back, like one big crash. Rammin' God's children head-on.
What can I say, it never happens this way in all those old Red Sovine songs.

When I was a kid I'd see beer commercials on TV.
Girls, good times, havin' fun.
Now I'm outside a PIK-PAK, tryin' to grab a 12-pack
couldn't wait til I was 21.

Now I'm only as bold as I'm told by a drunken society.
Now there's more blood on my can of Bud than there ever was in me.