Goodbye Blue Monday Testo

It❝s snowing on a Monday as I am driving home. And the guilt begins to creep up from the ones I❝ve left alone. And on this road their bodies still hang up in the air, between the birch❝s branches where I last left them there. There are palm prints on my window from her hands out in the cold. Now four years have gone by here and I have gotten old.
And you said yourself that I❝m falling towards the sun. Like I disguise myself to make you forget I❝m the one. Like this was just a trap I built and you are just a game I won. But I don❝t want to run.
I remember counting white beads as I sat in wooden pews, where I laid down my confessions. And I said a prayer for you because it❝s harder in December. And it❝s harder in the cold. And it❝s hard not to remember all the lies that we have told late at night, shifting shape under florescent light.
The spray paint spelled ❝SALVATION,❝ but I knew you wanted more. So I paint myself in blue light. And I unlock all the doors because the city❝s getting smaller. And I don❝t know where to go. And I spent my only dollar hoping maybe you would know.